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Wednesday, December 31st, 2003

Subject:For those of you taht care.....
Time:2:03 pm.
Mood: awake.
I have a new LJ account now.


If you love me, you will ADD ME!!!!!!

If not, meh. Fuck ya.


Rock on.
4 people give a damn| do you give a damn?

Monday, December 29th, 2003

Time:3:38 pm.
Mood: lonely.
...tahts all, i just needed to scream....
im SOOOOO.....i dunno... :/
Somebody hold me. Please.
1 people give a damn| do you give a damn?

Sunday, December 28th, 2003

Time:2:43 am.
Mood: lonely.
Soo tonite i went to Arlington cuz Jim and Aaron's band had a show. Tried callin Jace liek 435264352 tiems to see if he wanted to meet me there but i guess he wasnt around all day. I havent talked to him in liek, 2 days... Not good... Not trying to sound all obsessive or anything...but i kinda miss him. And it would of been cool to see him tonite, even if it would of just been for a little while. *sigh* Maybe i'll talk to him tmw... ANYWHO, i took sum pics of teh band during thier set, and tehy were pretty damn good pics...soo ima be thier photographer chick heh. Ummmm so yeah. Its 2:45 AM, and im bored, so its survey tiem folks.

I keep waiting...and I wait... Won't somebody...save me....Collapse )
2 people give a damn| do you give a damn?

Friday, December 26th, 2003

Time:10:13 pm.
Mood: bored.
So i FINALLY went and saw Lord of teh Rings tonite w/ teh fam. Good stuff. It was liek, 3 1/2 hours long... Jordy+ADD+3 1/2 hour movie = :/
But it was good...

Took a few quizzes too...hehehe

I feel like more...Collapse )
do you give a damn?

Wednesday, December 24th, 2003

Subject:Merry Effin Christmas
Time:12:32 pm.
Mood: cold.
Yeah. So. Its Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas Everybody. Hope ya'll get everything you wanted from teh Big Guy. I know waht I want... Much Love. <3

hehehe, so i stole tihs pic from yourpassenger but i dont think he'll mind...
do you give a damn?

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003

Time:11:42 pm.
Mood: irritated.
Yeah. I'm bored. Survey tiem folks.

I see: tihs mess i've made.
I need: a haircut...gross
I find: taht today sucks, bad.
I want: to hug and kiss my Jace face...
I have: my polo sweatshirt on
I wish: Jace was with me now
I love: Deftones
I hate: today, liek hardcore.
I miss: all my friends up in D/FW
I fear: loneliness and illness, and dying alone...and not having a loving hand to hold.
I feel: irritated...
I hear: Christmas music
I smell: a candle...
I crave: hardcore snuggling with hands on me.
I search: for a smile, today anyways.
I wonder: where i'm going.

Read more...Collapse )
do you give a damn?

Monday, December 22nd, 2003

Subject:yay local show
Time:2:55 am.
Mood: sleepy.
Yeah. so i ended up goin to teh Local Show tonite. RAWK! \m/ Jim decided he wanted to go so i rode up there w/ him. We had good fun. I saw lotsa ppl, and got lotsa hugs!!! hehe. Vinnie Paul showed up and hung out by teh bar haha. Jacknife tore it up, as always. I love thoes guys. Teh Destro was badass of course...those guys rock. Tehy are playin a show here in Tyler next Sunday nite....should be fun. We might all party afterwards. Good fun. but yeah...good tiems had by all tonite. I saw soo many of my friends and it was just lovely. Jace didn't make it though. :/ No ride. Im kinda startin to think...ugh. nvm. If i get into it i'll be typing all nite...and i'll prolly say something stupid to upset him or something...im prolly just being paranoid or something. OK I'm off to bed. nite nite. Rock on.
5 people give a damn| do you give a damn?

Saturday, December 20th, 2003

Time:3:34 pm.
Mood: disappointed.
Yeah sooo iunno if im goin to teh Local Show tmw or not. Bummer. I'm pretty upset..teh guys i was gonna go with all decided tehy are too broke and wanna have band practice. WTF?!?! Its not liek it costs $10 for 21+ to get in or anything. ARGH!!!! VERY upset. I wanted to see my Jace and all my friends and muh Robert and get me a new Jacknife shirt (a SMALL one, at taht) and see a kick ass show. Guess not now. UGH. NOT COOL. Not cool at all. :( Why cant my parents just not be ga and let me drive my car every now and tehn??? Jesus. WAHT in teh name of RON JEREMY is WRONG w/ lettin me drive my car?!?!? fsdghfgdhsfhdgfhjdffgjdgs!!!!!!!!!!
I'm still gonna try and find a way up there. But its not looking too good right now. DAMMIT im upset lol.
Hmmmmity....got muh grades in yesterday. Not TOO bad.
Speech - B
Music Appreciation - B
TX Politics - C (And i HONESTLY thought i was gonna FAIL taht one)
US History - C
Photography - B
Soo yeah...makes my GPA a 2.60. So im thinking i need to apply to UNT sometime soon. Of course, my dad wasn't pleased heh. So waht else is new. "Why didnt you make any A's" Jesus fuck. I'm not prefect liek my brothers. I tried and i think i did pretty good. I mean yeah i could of done better but tihs is MUCH better tahn i did at TCU. Let's hope i do ok tihs semester...im takin my last 2 basic classes and 3 electives. Soo shouldn't be TOO bad.
OK. I'm done for now. Rock on.
do you give a damn?

Wednesday, December 17th, 2003

Subject:Jace > Dad
Time:12:26 pm.
Mood: cold.
Sleeping late rocks my socks. Very much so. Rah. \m/ Jace rocks my socks too. Hardcore. We talked everything out about tihs weekend and everything is ALL GOOD. Thank God. And last nite...we had one of those "talks". I wish i would of came in here and wrote it wehn it was all fresh in my head but i was tired dammit. But anywho...basically....we both liek each other...ALOT. But i REALLY dont wanna jump into things real fast. Considering teh kind of luck i have w/ guys and all. I know it sounds bad and all, but i EXPECT bad stuff to happen now. Even between me and Jace. Liek, im scared he'll meet some other girl or get tired of me or something. I know i dont't need to think liek taht...but i do. :/ Ya know? So i told him how hard it is for me to trust guys and all, and he was completely understanding. Which is really good. He said he would do wahtever it takes to gain me trust, and taht he would wait as long as he needs to to be with me. Because...i wanna be w/ him and all but i also wanna make sure i can trust him and all. He said he doesnt want to do anything to hurt me...which im pretty sure he won't... Iunno, he just seems liek a REALLY great guy...and he cares about me alot... Soo yeah...im really glad i met him, and im glad we had tihs conversation last nite. Cuz im really tired of guys hurting me and fucking me over, and i just dont wanna jump into anything too fast. But yeah...he said hes gonna try and come see me Saturday, and hes definitely goin to teh Local Show Sunday, and im going as well. Yeah. Me and Jace. <3 He's lovely. Just lovely.

jace x elite: jace <3's you
jace x elite: like woa

jace x elite: :-D <3 :-* jordy kisses

On a different note...my dad has been giving me a hard tiem AGAIN. Last nite we were going to eat w/ my grandma (whos pumpkin pie, btw, owns you ALL!!) and he brought up, waht else, but teh subject of me not doing too well at TCU, yet again. I dont think he understands taht its NOT for EVERYBODY. Sure, it was perfect for him 30 years ago...but maybe its not teh place for me. He said him and Deb think teh reason i didn't do so well is cuz i went to so many rock shows and didn't go to class teh next day. Bullshit. I mean yeah, i went to my share of Local Shows and a couple of shows during teh week...but its not liek i went EVRY nite and never went to class. MAYBE, just maybe...TCU was a little too hard for me. Ask anyone who goes there. I promise tehy will tell you its a tough school, and taht its not for everybody. Soo now my dad thinks taht if he sends me off to North Texas next fall, all im gonna do it go to rock shows and never go to class and all. Argh. Makes me soo upset. I think he WANTS me to stay here and graduate from some lame ass school (UT Tyler) and live here for teh rest of my lief. He thinks i have no direction in my lief. I wanna be a band/tour manager, or a talent scout for bands...and he thinks its impossible for me to do it. IMPOSSIBLE. And he thinks taht me going into radio is dumb, because its not teh highest paying job or wahtever. (my bro. is majoring in nuclear engineering and my other one in business) But at least i'll be doing something i enjoy. I'd MUCH rather get up every morning and be all, "hey i love my job even though its not teh highest paying job in teh world", tahn get up every morning and be all, "I REALLY hate my job...but hey, at least i make REALLY good money" No. Fuck all taht. ARGH. I HAVE direction in my lief, ita just not teh direction he WANTS me to have. ANd he has NO IDEA how hard ive been busting my ass tihs semester just so i can move back up to DFW and leave tihs shitty town. I have NO friends here, theres NOTHING to do...it just sucks. All my friends are up in DFW. fdfhdffhdfddfhdfdghdgfhdgfsjdfhjs
Its just so frustrating. I feel liek i'll NEVER be good enough for him, and i sure as hell dont ever do anything right. ESPECIALLY compared to both my brothers. Ima HUGE loser. Ugh. OK if i keep typing i'll be going all day....
OK...im not a huge fan of Simple Plan or anything...but tihs new song tehy have...Perfect...reminds me of me and my dad. Iunno, teh video just came on FUSE and im all, holy irony Batman!!!!!!!! OK im done. Shower tiem. Rock on.

***EDIT***I just gauged my ears again. Tehy are now 6!!! woohoo. Took me forever lol.
2 people give a damn| do you give a damn?

Monday, December 15th, 2003

Subject:Ima loser...a HUGE one....
Time:1:54 pm.
Mood: lonely.
*slaps self* Yeah. Soo ima huge loser. I wanted Jace to come out to teh show teh other nite...and he said to call him. So i kept calling and calling and no answer so i didnt think he was gonna go. So i got REALLY drunk and he ended up seeing something he didnt wanna see, taht just...happened (and i felt REALLY shitty afterward) and it upset him and made him REALLY mad at me. ...I didn't even know he was there. But i feel liek an ass. I FINALLY meet a decent guy taht i liek and all...and i fuck it up. Just liek i fuck everything else up. Ugh. I feel liek shit...
I'm REALLY REALLY sorry Jace Face.... <3
Umm teh rest of teh weekend went ok. I guess. Hung out yesterday. Went to teh Local Show last nite at Trees. Always a good tiem. It was teh Local Show Awards show...and my good buds Stillborn Nursery got metal band of teh year!! \m/ good work guys.
OH!!! And DTSUnderground.com got local media award. Rock. Saw some friends. Teh Destro guys and Joe from Jacknife and Jacob from Dustborn. Muh Robert for a few mins. Tehn my friend i was with busted his teeth in teh pit. So we had to go heh. Oh well...it was good seein some of my friends.
ANYWAYS ima go for now. Rock on.
do you give a damn?

Saturday, December 13th, 2003

Subject:Why yes, i am
Time:11:21 am.
Mood: groggy.
I jacked tihs quiz from insideurnebula

True Metalhead
You are a True Metalhead. You dig the
classic music and the classic lifestyle. As
metalheads go, you're pretty open-minded in
terms of music and lyrics; if it rocks, then
you'll listen to it. Concerts are the pinnacle
of the metal experience, though sometimes they
get a little too crazy. You generally respect
everybody else, but as far as you're concerned,
they all wish they were Priest or Maiden.

What Kind of Metalhead Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
do you give a damn?

Friday, December 12th, 2003

Time:3:03 am.
Mood: loved.
i luvs muh jace face

jace x elite: soo yea <3
jace x elite: duh

3 people give a damn| do you give a damn?

Thursday, December 11th, 2003

Subject:i dunno
Time:1:48 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
Notta whole lot to update on. Theres not a whole lot goin on here. Finally done w/ finals and term papers. Thank god. Talked to Nick teh other nite. We came to a little understanding:

Nick convoCollapse )
do you give a damn?

Monday, December 8th, 2003

Subject:Because I'm bored....
Time:1:39 pm.
Mood: bored.
I get booooorrrrreeeeedCollapse )
do you give a damn?

Sunday, December 7th, 2003

Time:3:00 pm.
Mood: sleepy.
Craziness. Pure craziness. Last nite started off soo shitty. I was s'posed to hang out w/ tihs guy Jay i have been kinda talkin to/hangin out with. No. He called and didn't wanna see me. Which is kinda shitty..cuz i kinda lieked him, but he doest want anything to do w/ girls right now...although he led me on HARDCORE. But wahtever. He's a guy, i was expecting it. Anywho, John came and picked me up and we went to Dallas. I had 2/3 a bottle of Jack left and i was good to go. So i mixed a Jack and Coke and drank teh rest from teh bottle...i killed teh bottle by teh tiem we got to Dallas lol. So we get to Dallas and i had to pee, so we went to some beer store run by sum litle Asian ppl, and got a 40 of Bud Ice. Tehn we headed down to Deep Ellum and killed teh 40 haha. yeah, i was gone lol. Umm...tehn we walked around a bit. It was cold out but i was SOOO hot from teh Jack lol. We went by Trees as Superjoint Ritual was gettin on thier bus, and Phil ran right into me haha. Bastage. ;) So we went to Galaxy and i ran into RYAN!!!!!!!!! I love my Ryan cuz hes a sweety and has sweet kitties and sexy dreads. We kinda stood around and watched tihs band play, i went around talkin to random ppl, drank 2 more shots of Jack and a Jack and Coke, met some Hispanic guy named John who put his # in my phone, had teh ppl werkin at teh club ask me if i was ok lol. haha...good tiems. Anywho, before we left i went to teh bathroom and tihs chick was in there and i think it was her b-day or something lol, so we started talkin and were gonna party. haha. But i figured since we were at Galaxy, might as well go next door and get sum RASTA FRIES!!!!! HELL YEAH!!!!!! So we went, and we didn't wanna go in so i told tihs huge bouncer guy i wanted sum fries, tehn we had to pee AGAIN so we went insied and we asked tihs dude where tah bathroom was, and he was all, "Oh you wont make it to teh bathroom" I guess cuz it was all crowded or something....so he took us and there was a chick sittin in there handing out toilet paper lol. Tehn we left and got separated...and wehn i got outsied teh bouncer guy bought me my fries!!! HOW AWESOME!!!! (i didn't think he would get em haha) So tehn we headed back to Johns. I passed out in his car...and got sick wehn we got there: :( And i NEVER get sick wehn i drink. But he was a sweetheart and held my hair back for me and all. Tehn i just passed out and he brought me home today. I was supposed to werk but fuck taht lol. Anywho, taht was my lovely evening. Good fun. I love Jack. Taht is one guy taht will NEVER fuck me over :)
2 people give a damn| do you give a damn?

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003

Subject:Yup. Guys suck (except Prasanth....he's cool)
Time:12:55 am.
Mood: loved.
Prasanth is lovely...Collapse )
6 people give a damn| do you give a damn?

Wednesday, November 26th, 2003

Time:11:47 pm.
Mood: frustrated.
I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER meet a good guy. Ever. I'm SICK of getting hurt by every fucking guy i date. Waht is WRONG with me?? Seriously. I've NEVER broken up w/ a guy. Maybe im just a huge screw-up and im not SUPPOSED to date. Maybe i should just giev up. Ugh.


Jesus. I'm done. I'm done, i'm done, i'm DONE. Ive said it many tiems before but tihs tiem i mean it. If you think you can change my mind (you know who you are), go for it. I heart you very much. <3 But other tahn *him*, fuckit. I'm soo tired of all tihs bullshit i keep putting myself through. I dunno why i even bother. I know how its gonna turn out. Im gonna get fucked over and hurt. Everytiem. Ugh. I soo cant think straight right now. I'm out.
2 people give a damn| do you give a damn?

Monday, November 24th, 2003

Subject:Silly Seth...
Time:1:39 am.
Mood: sleepy.
LOL... Seth gets confused soo easily...it makes me chuckle...

convo about Friendster.comCollapse )
do you give a damn?

Friday, November 21st, 2003

Subject:So i made it through teh week
Time:5:44 pm.
Mood: stressed.
Good thing. All i have is a $150 check tmw. Not too bad...but its not $300 liek my parents thought it would be. oh well. Teh rest of tihs week was kinda...meh. I HATE not havin my phone all day. I find myself checking my voice messages ALOT. Isn't it terrible?? How much we rely on technology?? Liek, a few years ago, nobody had cell phones, or only ppl w/ $$$ had em. Now, its liek, ppl rely on em ENTIRELY, and if we leave home without em, God forbid, its liek, "omg, i gotta go back and get it", its liek a part of us now...or something. I'm guilty of it too...my cell phone is my security blanket. But i dont give out my home phone # to anyone...only my cell..cuz tis waht i would perfer ppl call. Cuz if tehy call my house and my dad answers, he asks who its is, tehn he wonders who tehy are, how i met em, etc. So yeah. Anyways im gettin off track lol. I went and saw ELF last nite w/ cornflake_grrl. OMG IT WAS SOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!! I LOVE WIll Ferrell. I laughed sooo hard. It was a good tiem. We ate at Mercado's as well. Good stuff. I have no idea wahts goin on tonite. Aaron is s'posed to call me later. I was s'posed to go to Dallas w/ Clint from Altered...he was gonna come pick me up and bring me home and everything so i could go to thier show. But i HAVE to werk on Sunday and i hafta be there at 9:30 AM. Soo yeah. But he's a sweetheart. Anywho, im just waitin on mah Aaron to call me i guess. Maybe we'll make a beer run so i can get me another bottle of Jack. Me and Jack NEED to hang out after teh week I'VE had. Jesus Louisus. Yes. I am a drunkard. Sue me. I also hafta write a 10 page paper for my Texas Politics (yuck!) class tihs weekend. My group gives our presentation on Monday. Oh how i HATE taht class. I hope i pass it. OK...i guess im out for now. Rock on. Have a WONDERFUL, safe Fryday.
do you give a damn?

Tuesday, November 18th, 2003

Subject:For those of you taht care....
Time:2:33 pm.
Mood: pessimistic.
...I'm gonna die. Sometiem soon. Seriously. No Joke. My dad is gonna KILL me...if my stepmom doesnt first. So, my phone bill last month was $200. I got BITCHED OUT for taht last nite. Understandable, i know tahts a bit ridiculous. So now, for those of you who call me, DO NOT call my cell phone before 9. My dad has it during teh day so i wont make any phone calls. If you must call me during teh day, call my house phone - 903-561-5906. Umm im puttin teh cell under my name next month though, so i'll let ya'll know. Anyways, tahts not all. Tihs job i have, at Dish Netwerk. Yeah, my parents were startin to question as to whether i even HAD a job, cuz its strictly commission, and i had not made any sales yet. Soo i told em i made one, so tehy would get off my back. Even though i hadnt. But i figured i'd be able to sell AT LEAST one in 2 weeks. Well i didn't. And tehy have still been hounding me about it. And i told em i got it, but forgot it at teh office Sunday nite. Well i called my boss and he said he could pay me early (cuz i made 2 sales Sunday nite) but HE'S in Salt Lake City. He said he could, but does know know wehn he'll be back - tonite or tmw. Ugh. So i have no idea waht ima do. Tahts STILL not all. Im sure you all remember teh accident i was in back in February. Well teh estimate for teh guy whose car i hit kept changing. It went from $280, to $563, to $726, to $925. Wierd huh? So i wrote teh Insurance Company questioning teh changes, and askin to get on a payment plan. Well today i get a letter from a subrogator (sp?) sayin if i dont give em my insurance info, tehy guy is ready to file a suit. A SUIT!!!! WTF?!?!?! I'm SOOOOOOOOOO fuckin dead. If any of you would liek ANY of my things, feel free to email me, or contact me by AIM. Because before teh end of teh week, I'll be dead. If any of you can help me in any way at all, or have any input...it will be GREATLY appreciated. Im dead.
3 people give a damn| do you give a damn?

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